Achievement and failure exist only as a construct, a way to judge others and my sickness, my health and my worth has nothing to do with either.
But the loss of religion, shame and guilt left me without morals. Quite by chance, I found that I was amoral by choice.
Similarly if you experience insecure attachment as a child, all other things being equal, your mind will default to attach insecurely as an adult.
Designer Relationships is a gentle, compassionate read which presents the subject in a most decorous and acceptable light, yet this also means it is not dramatic or compelling enough to encourage a dubious reader to finish it. This is not a book which will persuade those without an already open and curious mind.
We are programmed as human beings with a biological reaction called ‘disgust’ and as a society, have reinforced this through any number of mechanisms to be able to live together. It’s part of the reason why so many stories of abuse remain untold and why many abusers can go on abusing, sometimes over decades. Abusees become disgusting by their association to abuse. Their stories are often doubted, shunned or dismissed as inconsequential.