My Daughter’s Consent And The Boy Next Door

consent between children

This boy is kind. But being kind doesn’t disguise the fact that he has no knowledge of boundaries. He knocks at all hours of the day. If the back door is on the latch, he’ll come in uninvited and sit on Maya’s bed to await her return until I show him the door. He once tried to force his way in her room to wake her up and play.

TBINAA | #MeToo: Will My Son Grow up to be a Rapist?

And if predatory behaviour is as ubiquitous among men as it appears and as I have experienced it to be, statistically it is likely that my son will violate someone, at some point, in his lifetime. That could be anything from ignorant boundary violation to, god forbid, rape.

Now We Are Six

But six does not look as A.A. Milne described it in my childhood. Truth to be told, I now realise that it never looked like that, I only wish it did. Six is brutal and I’m feeling its brutality again through my children. It is not reasonable or rational. It is brutal.

Fighting My Daughter’s Racist Formula

In-groups are formed by what we consider to be ‘relevant’ familiarity. Children, and even adults, process most of our information visually which means that varying skin tones might be not only the first but also the only indicators for who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’.

Is Love just Relief from Anxiety?

It’s less about the dopamine high and more about the euphoria of finally feeling confident and capable. Feeling relaxed. Trusting that my children are safe.

The Story of the High Speed Train

This is what my anxiety feels like. There is a valve which regulates my stress levels and it needs to be maintained, and strengthened through self-care.

Do I Lie to My Teenage Son About Being Open?

You asked… After having been in an “open” relationship with my wife for the past 4.5 years but never had another relationship per se, I have now had a girlfriend for the past 4 months. Originally the two were kept quite separate, mostly due to my wife not necessarily needing to see her, but now she comes over regularly, stays … Read More

How do I Protect My Kid from bullying due to polyamory?

You asked… So far I’ve been pretty lucky – able to mostly insulate my son from changes with partners (I learned that lesson when he was mostly too young to remember, at least). And we’re 90% out, so I’m not worried about him outing us. (By 90% out I mean that friends know and neither my husband nor any of … Read More

When should I introduce my partner to my kids?

You asked… I’ve recently started dating again now that maternity has finished and my daughter has started pre-school. I’ve met someone who I think could be a potential partner. I agreed with my husband a while ago, that we wouldn’t introduce someone to our child unless it was serious, but now I’m thinking I can’t get serious with a partner until … Read More

Think of The Children

At least I thought, I can as much work as possible in the time I have left to prepare myself mentally to lie, as I felt I would have to… for their entire lives.

The Truth About Lying (to Kids)

When I’ve said this in the past, there has always been a follow up question. ‘So you, who believe in honesty… do you lie to your children? Do you expose them to the harsh realities of life?’

Celebrating the Magic of a Coca Cola Santa Claus

I would like to tell them about the wonderful man who gave to the poor. I would like to show them the legend of the Yule Lads from Iceland and get excited at how they have 13 Santas, not just one. I would like to explain how Coca Cola pulled off the biggest marketing marvel of all time and popularized him in red as opposed to blue.

Huffpo | 5 Life Lessons for My Children

I can’t really sit you down now to talk to you about life lessons because at 4 and 2 years old, you are too young. Besides, who wants to talk about life when there is so much living to do?

An Anxious Parent

I’ve created routines, bought activity books, depended a little too much sometimes on Peppa Pig. I’ve forced myself to go out, to face the demon.

Why Mothers Should be Selfish

The prospect of maternity leave of 12 months for my newborn together with toddler daughter makes me want to curl up in my own foetal position and hibernate.