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The Gift of Amorality and Alcohol in Dark Times

LouisaFebruary 9, 2017002 The Battle to Emerge, 003 Rewriting the Narrative, The Adoptee Journey

But the loss of religion, shame and guilt left me without morals. Quite by chance, I found that I was amoral by choice.

No, Doesn’t Always Mean No

LouisaAugust 31, 2016002 The Battle to Emerge, The Adoptee Journey2 Comments

I’ve been raped twice already so it’s not like I believe in my own self-worth enough to even make a legitimate attempt to refuse you.

Beware of Feeding Sharks

LouisaMarch 10, 2015002 The Battle to Emerge, 003 Rewriting the Narrative, The Adoptee Journey

Addiction might be called a curse, but that’s only one way to look at it. Alcohol addiction used to be a way of tapping into a power I didn’t have, a release of pain I had trapped inside me.

Could You Stop Drinking In An Alcoholic World?

LouisaOctober 8, 2014Scribblings, The Writing VaultLeave a Comment

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What it’s Like to be a 24 year Old Alcoholic

LouisaJuly 31, 2014001 The Hostile Environment, 002 The Battle to Emerge, The Adoptee JourneyLeave a Comment

It’s not what I know I’ve done. But what I don’t know I’ve done. Yawning black holes of nothingness taunt me with their awful possibilities.

Quelling Anxiety with the Oblivion of Alcohol

LouisaJanuary 20, 2014002 The Battle to Emerge, The Adoptee Journey

I knew, even at 21, that my ‘off’ button didn’t function in the same way as other people’s. I lost 4 pairs of shoes out drinking over the course of 2 years.

Why I Don’t Regret Being Sober in Dublin

LouisaMay 12, 2013003 Rewriting the Narrative, The Adoptee JourneyLeave a Comment

I’m no longer sorry I didn’t get drunk in Dublin all those years ago. I’m only sorry I didn’t realise earlier that my sorrow, was a waste of time.

How Alcohol Made Me Love Myself

LouisaAugust 3, 2012002 The Battle to Emerge, The Adoptee Journey

And in an instant, late at night, I changed. This person was in pain. Ugly and blank. My features were twisted into a belligerent mask.

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