Welcome. Pull up a Pew.
I would like to be one of those 'I am woman, hear me roar' women. But I don't roar, because quite frankly with three kids there's enough noise in this house already. This is my blog, scratchpad, solace, journal and inspiration. My place. However you've got here, I look forward to connecting.
Why do you blog?
My mind and memory are in freefall. Part of my passion for writing here, is to help me remember who I am, and the journey I've been on, before the trauma, consequent stress and consequences of how I've tried to cope with it (both legal and illegal, healthy and unhealthy) destroy who I am, or at least who I remember I am.
Another reason I write is because I experience something called 'Alexythmia', a form of emotional blindness which science hasn't quite decided is genetic or environmental. I need days, sometimes weeks (or even years in the case of really traumatic events) to process information, and find out how I feel. This blog helps me do that.
For that reason, many of these posts have changed over the years as I add more to the originals. Alternatively I can write about the same event from many different angles as I recover, learn and heal.
For over ten years I've written here, and not only does it help me, it also seems to help others.
Most importantly, I can write here because I am white, cis, and middle class. This comes with privilege I can use to empower others. I'm glad therefore that I can use my time to write about topics, especially those pertaining to minorities that inform and inspire others.
Have you written books?
A resounding yes. And also another answer to the question above. Quite by chance, I found out that as I write this blog, many of the scenes or posts contribute to a plot structure which can be lifted to create memoir. I'm developing quite a knack for it, which is maybe why I'm confident enough to "write" the drafts of my new books in the premium section of this site.
Out of the four I've written so far, one (The Husband Swap) is under option for a film. It's been that way for 5 years, and now they're developing the script because reception is looking favourable.
Another one (Necessary to Life) won the silver award for memoir of the year, which goes to show my method of plot compilation isn't too shabby. At the time of writing this, I'm developing this into a free course for premium members.
Isn't this all just navel-gazing? Are you a narcissist?
Well yes, and no (to the first question). No, to the second although I, like everyone else have some healthy narcissism in me. But essentially, I am a narcissist's daughter. The time I spend 'navel-gazing' is because after having had my own reality obliterated for so many years by my adoptive mother, to this day I'm not really certain of my own opinion or purpose unless I figure it out by writing.
Life without opinion or purpose is a wretched way to live, and I don't recommend it. And after several suicide attempts, I find that creating, and believing in my opinions (which can of course change as new information is added) help me live with purpose and connect with others. The absence of connection when living in a false reality and acting accordingly, is unbearable.
How can I support your work?/Get an Update on what you Write?
By subscribing to the site. The Vault is a members only access area which is priced at $5 per month. I figure that the cost of a cup of tea and a biscuit is affordable for most folk, and allows me to fund my activism areas on adoption, relationship freedom and abuse to help others. It also ensures I remain independent, and as a trained journalist that's pretty important. In return you get a monthly newstter, research projects, new books, giveaways, and deep dive content.