Under activist posts I might put anything philosophical, interviews with some big names out there and shout-y type pieces. Some of the pieces are written when I first discovered polyamory, so necessarily they are seen through rose tinted glasses. Take them with a pinch of salt.


Tips & Tools

The best advice I could give you is to read everything you can lay your hands on. My site is one resource, but there is no definitive map. You are the mapmaker.

Polyamory #metoo

I am currently working as part of a transformative justice process and assisting a survivor pod, a team of people set up to support those harmed by Franklin Veaux's behaviours in his capacity as a leader in the polyamorous community, the author of The Game Changer, co-author of More Than Two–A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory.

These are my personal posts on this issue.


Note that my answers are given in my capacity as an activist and also based on personal observation (as a white cis woman). Some might disagree with my answers, and I welcome feedback and objections. For this reason the comments section for all these answers is open.

Books & Media

  • “Love, Retold” by Tikva Wolf ‘Love, Retold’ personifies non-violent and exploratory angles on our perceived powerlessness created by an ultimate truth; we cannot control others or their willingness to be in a relationship with us, if we truly seek to love.
  • A look at “The Polyamorous Home” There is nothing wrong with partners who choose not give up their own self-determination in order to support a community they have played no part in making.
  • Ask Me About Polyamory by Kimchi Cuddles The mainstreaming of high fantasy gives credibility to those seeking to make their minority voices heard through pictorial form.
  • Becoming The Author of Your Own Life Designer Relationships is a gentle, compassionate read which presents the subject in a most decorous and acceptable light, yet this also means it is not dramatic or compelling enough to encourage a dubious reader to finish it. This is not a book which will persuade those without an already open and curious mind.
  • Twice ~ A Movie by Sarah Arlen But for those who are monogamous – especially as explored in Twice – the paradigm of a monogamous male with a polyamorous female – the struggle is wholly different. Society emasculates their stance as they struggle with opinions which may define them as cuckolds, whilst shame and guilt compound the difficulties.
  • 8 Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory by Cunning Minx The challenge lies then, not with this book (which is quite frankly the best intro to poly problems I’ve found), but with human nature and the way we create our knowledge; Clue…it’s not just from other people’s experiences.
  • Open by Jenny Block ~ Vagina Wars We’re fighting the same fight Jenny and I. The battle to embrace our choices and our sexuality for all that they are and all that they can be.
  • When Open Relationships End (but not as we know it, Jim) Because game changers do not necessarily spell the end of your relationship, but they do mean the end of your relationship as you know it.
  • How Passive Communication Killed My Relationship Is my happiness worth more than my constructed image, my status and my social position? Because if you want the damn biscuit, you’ll have more chance of getting it, if you just ask.
  • Romantic Friendship in the Modern Era I don’t know Eve and one of her significant partners, Peter. But I do know how courageous it is to openly discuss your sex life in the public eye, knowing how harshly many might judge.
  • Rewriting the Rules by Meg-John Barker In fact the whole book is a dichotomous mixture of wisdom and self deprecating wit with serious clinical terms and sit-com humour. In this way it is far more palatable than other psychology text books.
  • Love Unlimited by Leonie Linssen & Stephan Wik A truly comprehensive coverage of various relationship issues are examined in a therapeutic setting – death of sex in a relationship, cheating and broken trust, development of a workable triad, first time swinging and my personal favourite, the polyamorous-monogamous configuration.