We Are The Ugly Ducklings

But there is one aspect of identity which will never be properly resolved.I look like no-one I know…not even me. Because who is “me”?

The Maternal Narcissist

How it became an obsession to become a mother, a perfect mother at any cost. But how no matter how hard she tried, she failed.

Confessions of an Eyelash Puller

Who would have guessed that the high achieving little girl who was–to all the outside world–a perfect privileged child, was so busy hating herself?

The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

For those adoptees who lose their mother before the separation of the self occurs, they will manifest a primal wound. A deep and lasting impact.

Passenger Seat

I recoiled at her touch and thought ‘I don’t want to put cream on them. I want them to stay there so you see every day how ugly you made me.’

Questions You Never Wanted to Ask

I knew that my father had tried to divorce my mother a year before they adopted me. I knew that I was ‘her project’. I knew that he was never around.

Not My Real Mother

Secrecy was the best choice. But being adopted whilst outwardly respectable, was only another word for disgraced bastard. And everyone knew it, even if they didn’t say it.

Child Knows Best

Agency was conspicuous by its absence in my upbringing. My adoptive mother neither trusted in me, nor in my agency and this might be regarded by many as wise. After all what can a child know about the consequences of their decisions?