I write about what you hid from your parents, and what you hide from your kids. I also write about what you hide from yourself (denial is a bitch).
I'm an inclusive feminist originally from the UK, with credits in the Guardian, The Local, Salon, Nerve, Jezebel, The Body is Not An Apology, Digital Journal, Inspired Economist, & Huffpo.
I'm a published (Thorntree Press) and self-published (under the brand Inner Worlds) author of "The Husband Swap" series. One is under option for film. Fingers crossed.
This is my place.
Play nicely please.
Specialities include: white privilege [for white people], psychology, mental health, [many insidious forms of] abuse, adoption, open relationships, asexuality, power structures, privilege, conscious parenting, trauma and cultural clashes, mostly in Europe. I usually write from a subjective viewpoint in long-form, but can write reported pieces also. Pronouns, she/her.
Activism through Journalism
The Local DE | Life in suspense: the refugees in Germany who can’t reunite with their familiesNovember 21, 2017
TBINAA | Dear White Women: Why We Need to Stop Crying When POC Call Us OutSeptember 6, 2017
the Guardian | Comment threads? They’re a fight to the death. Look, you know I’m right.August 10, 2013
TBINAA | Why We Should Say ‘Female Genital Cutting’ and Not ‘Mutilation’February 28, 2018
Who are you?
You're either someone who is marginalised and feels unheard, or you want to bring an issue to wider attention, which perhaps hasn't received the kind of justice it deserves. Or you're an editor who wants this side of the story. My job as a journalist is to craft a compelling narrative and get it out to a larger platform.
how does it work?
Contact me using the buttons below, which generates an email direct to my inbox. Every submission is confidential. I write for and pitch to many outlets, to get the issue highlighted as best as I can.
(If you're an editor who wants to commission a story, this is also a direct line to me)
About the subjective viewpoint &/or language:
Oppression and injustice are better analysed and understood through the lens of lived experience. The starting point to report the whole truth, is with those who are most negatively impacted; those who have less social and often less economic power. And I believe that a set of observation-based data is a truly magnificent (and highly credible) thing.
Since narratives have the power to shape the way society views right and wrong, the refugee crisis versus a slight tumble in corporate stocks justifies different treatment. If we treat all events with the same unfazed, neutral tone and style, we risk perpetuating the normalcy bias, where dead children on the beach matter no more than some billionaire's slightly less padded pockets.
A note about perspective & consent
All sources are kept confidential and/or anonymized under the following remit, unless consent is given to the contrary. The angles of the personal stories I work on are signed off by the source, whereas the angles of reported pieces may not be (reported pieces are those which discuss an issue from several different, and usually polarized sides).
- Type 1: A personal story where consent was given for perspective as well as quotes,
- Type 2: A reported story where only quotes were signed off,
Activism through Post-Abuse Survivor Stories
This is new, to all of us
The world, or rather the mainstream, is beginning to realise that abuse can be both intentional and inadvertent, physical and psychological. Scotland recently introduced what has been the "gold standard" in domestic abuse, which includes "reckless" aka. inadvertent emotional cruelty. Abuse which happens without intention and is unconsciously perpetuated. It opens the way for psychological abuse to be prosecuted, and this is a well-intentioned step--but perhaps in the wrong direction.
Because incarceration, or treating violence with violence does not help create the type of communities I, and many of us believe, is better. It disregards the humanity of those involved, including of the person who abuses. And I believe we are all capable of abuse, because we grow up within an abusive society. This is where Transformative Justice tries to act. To both stop the harm and help rebuild the structures which allowed it to happen.
where do resources like me come in?
Telling our stories, even if it's only to one person, can heal us. Sometimes, our stories are our legacies to the next generation. Occasionally, our stories flap their small wings and start movements that change the world.
I am currently working as part of a transformative justice process and assisting a survivor pod, a team of people set up to support those harmed by Franklin Veaux's behaviours in his capacity as a leader in the polyamorous community, the author of The Game Changer, co-author of More Than Two–A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory. This is in line with my intention to elevate voices which need a bigger platform. And it is where I can help (as part of a team).
How does it work?
We don't know exactly, it's messy. And must be individually tailored to each and every circumstance. But what we do know is that it should be about elevating the survivors' voices without seeking to deprive the perpetrator of their freedom, or their humanity.
You can see this work offsite: Polyamory #metoo