Sex-Positivity for Babies

For all we want to help our children to be hygienic, in the long term at least making the ‘dirt can be fun’ narrative accessible to them, will later greatly help their appreciation of the often messy and beautifully ‘dirty’ activity that is sex.

Life as a Story

I know my desire for change might make me an incredibly hard person to live with for it is like an addiction. But I also know myself and I know what I need. I need change, I need the story, I need life.

Help! How Can I Let Go Of My Anger Toward My Partner & Former Metamour

Dear Louloria, I’ll preface by saying my marriage was once incredibly dysfunctional. Neither of us were capable of taking responsibility for our choices or feelings and we got stuck in this cycle of happy for a little while followed by increasing isolation followed by explosive fighting followed my short lived happiness and promises to do better. It was bad. Really … Read More

Help! If I’m jealous, am I also necessarily insecure?

Dear Louloria, Can somebody who’s completely secure in themselves and their relationship still feel jealousy with respect to their partner? I’ve heard it said that jealousy is rooted in insecurity, but I’ve also heard it said that jealousy is irrational. Can people with complete security in themselves and their relationship still experience jealousy? Hi there, Interesting fact. Our rational brain … Read More

Help! How do I initiate the talk about opening our relationship?

Dear Louloria, I’ve been married for three years but I’ve always have female friends that I’ve been very attached too. I would go as far as to say I love them. I’ve always struggled with this feeling that I would just to love to touch them or kiss them but I’ve always backed out of these thoughts. It might seem … Read More

The Clash of Relationship Anarchy with Romantic Hierarchy

I have no one more important than my chosen family. Right now I exist for them and as a reflection of them. I fear that the death of my family, would be the death of me, even if logically I know it to be untrue. In the past I have cleaved towards friends whom I considered as important as my family, only to have them demote me–when push came to shove–in favour of blood ties, even blood ties they despised.

Huffpo | When I Say I Hate Monogamy, What I Really Mean Is…

Monogamy is not a person. Monogamy is a relationship configuration and is as such, impossible for me to hate. It’s neutral. Monogamists are simply people who adhere to monogamy. Polyamory is also a configuration. So what I really mean is that I dislike some of the actions performed by people who happen to have chosen monogamy. I also dislike some of the actions by people who have chosen polyamory.

Nerve | Polyamory is Pain

Whilst much of my writing colours polyamory in a rose tinted light, I am not ignorant of the enormous pain that it might and does bring to many. Those who say my credibility is damaged and that I am stupid because I ignore the obvious pain signals which should prevent me practising polyamory, are only proving their own ignorance about the necessity and role of pain in our lives.

Salon | When your boyfriend loses his lover

He speaks of her. Of memories. Of what-ifs. Of his confusion. I try my best not to think guiltily about my own lover, my other significant other, sleeping in the bedroom. This heartbreak is his alone. And I am the lucky one.