But the loss of religion, shame and guilt left me without morals. Quite by chance, I found that I was amoral by choice.
Trump wants to make America great again, Theresa May wants to take Britain out of Europe. What they mean is that they want to return to a simpler more ignorant time, one where white people could exploit others--be parasites--without accountability. Abort the awareness baby. Abort.
Maybe it was then I first asked the question: would I risk my own life to protect the Anne Franks of this world? The answer was always yes. But hindsight is a flattering bedfellow.
I sincerely believe we've achieved what we've achieved because our relationship was already open and has been since its inception. Our relationship was open and sexual. It is still open but non-sexual. Timing in our case, was everything.
But the course of your chosen response in the fight against dehumanization is not necessarily dictated by your political stance. Whether you use reasonable discourse or violent protest is more likely be influenced by another factor: privilege, and how your privilege promotes your own survival.
For me one of the real differences between narcissism and privilege is not therefore in the actions of the individual, but in the extent of their internal distortion of reality.
There could be many potential reasons not least that to become a overseas voter is a bureaucratic nightmare, especially for those like me who left before voting age. When I eventually found the energy to jump through all the hoops, I was turned away. The electoral commission had only been formed in 2001 and when I discovered the website several years later, my rights had already expired.
For people of colour, white ethics do not promote their survival--it only promotes white people's survival and usually at the expense of theirs. People of colour have not been allowed voice, still today have less voice and any choice of an ethical framework--even by me, a white person--is ill-informed if it does not take this into account because our reality is weighted privilege.
Donald Trump uses 'alternative facts' to achieve harmony in his inner world. He's put a photo on his wall describing the crowd as a 'sea of love' indicative of the fact he craves adulation.
We have always been in a post-truth era because our interpretation of truth can only ever be subjective. Today the difference is that Trump doesn't pretend to be objective. As a narcissist, it is impossible for him to be anyone other than who he is. I'd wager he believes his own stories, no matter what facts might say.
People often wonder why I write so much. I've been called selfish, vain and self-obssessed. I over think things. That people don't know me, don't care to find out why and denigrate me according to their own judgements is something I've had to learn to live with. Because for me writing is the way I remember my life and my purpose. I write because otherwise I would forget who I am.