Monogamy is not a person. Monogamy is a relationship configuration and is as such, impossible for me to hate. It’s neutral. Monogamists are simply people who adhere to monogamy. Polyamory is also a configuration. So what I really mean is that I dislike some of the actions performed by people who happen to have chosen monogamy. I also dislike some of the actions by people who have chosen polyamory.
When I grew up and found my natural parents, there was of course no gold crown waiting for me. Just a realization that I was the rather ordinary product of a tawdry affair where responsibility for my presence was passed off to a childless married couple desperate for a child of ‘their own’. I was a possession.
Whilst much of my writing colours polyamory in a rose tinted light, I am not ignorant of the enormous pain that it might and does bring to many. Those who say my credibility is damaged and that I am stupid because I ignore the obvious pain signals which should prevent me practising polyamory, are only proving their own ignorance about the necessity and role of pain in our lives.
Is my happiness worth more than my constructed image, my status and my social position? Because if you want the damn biscuit, you’ll have more chance of getting it, if you just ask.
I never expected to feel inadequate at this stage, nor to have life shove my inadequacy so brutally in my face in a period when I am confronted savagely by my own mortality through illness.
What I want is for my lover to glory in my smell. To breathe in my musk and feel the heat rising in his body. To lap it up even if I haven’t had a shower 2 hours before, or even 24 hours before.
Monogamy is designed to keep couples together by creating barriers of exit; socially; financially and psychologically. One cannot look at the divorce statistics to ascertain how successful it is; this only proves how many couples remain married. Not how many couples remain happily married… Judging by how many marriages now end in divorce since it became more socially acceptable, that’s not many over the long term.
Fortunately for those of us who aren’t inclined to make the epic effort it requires to wade through the opening pages of Hemingway’s epic piece of literature–as boring as it is wise–you can satisfy your hankering for death and survival in almost every current Richard-and-Judy-stickered novel out there, from Harry Potter to The Lovely Bones.
When I was at my all-girls school my biology teacher blew a condom up like a balloon and brandished it in front of our faces. “Never let him tell you it isn’t big enough.” She shouted. Those of us close enough to smell the spermicide, tittered nervously and gazed at her admiringly. This was cutting edge sex education. Those of …
In the 1970s, the Chinese government believed that the only way to solve the strain on its resources was by enforced birth control because they fundamentally misunderstood the relationship between population growth, poverty and hunger.
hen I look at recent reports on Fairtrade and Cadbury, I see that both Fairtrade and Cadbury are doing well out of their alliance. In 2009, when Cadbury Dairy Milk went fair trade and started boasting the green and blue swirls, it was hailed as a major turning point for the Fairtrade mark. Since then, some 650 million bars and bags of Fairtrade-certified …
Richmond in the outskirts of London is a simply beautiful town. It nestles on the bank of the Thames with a the biggest park in Europe containing deer, nature walks and the most breathtaking view from Pembroke Lodge (throw in a few scones with jam and cream from their coffee shop and you’d make even the Gods on Mount Olympus jealous). We …