Interview With Franklin Veaux ( 2014)

Today Franklin Veaux is a leader and advocate in the polyamorous community; but over ten years ago Franklin Veaux was not a man whose word was respected.

He was not the man whose articles about agency and consent have been shared thousands of times across the internet. And if his site was popular, it was only because it caused such controversy and such upset in the polyamorous community that it was – like others issue like abortion – highly divisive.

Loving Off The Relationship Escalator

At what point do you define ‘being in a relationship’? Is it more than one date? Is it when you decide to be exclusive? Is it when you label each other boyfriend/girlfriend?

Born to be Polyamorous? Not Me

For those who define themselves as polyfidelitous, swingers or even monogamous, they have chosen the relationship structure which suits them best because of the way their brains, minds, genetic needs and prior relationships have created their sense of selves and who they feel they are.

My Boyfriend’s Marriage

I hunger for more validation. More than being embraced by his family, which I am. More than us all being accepted by my friends, which we are. I hunger for the type of validation that marriage brings.

Nerve | Polyamory is Pain

Whilst much of my writing colours polyamory in a rose tinted light, I am not ignorant of the enormous pain that it might and does bring to many. Those who say my credibility is damaged and that I am stupid because I ignore the obvious pain signals which should prevent me practising polyamory, are only proving their own ignorance about the necessity and role of pain in our lives.

Salon | When your boyfriend loses his lover

He speaks of her. Of memories. Of what-ifs. Of his confusion. I try my best not to think guiltily about my own lover, my other significant other, sleeping in the bedroom. This heartbreak is his alone. And I am the lucky one.

Warning… Opening Your Relationship Can Drive You Insane

It’s the utter anguish of losing your sense of self. Of not knowing if anything around you is true. When you challenge societal structures which are considered the ‘only way’ and the ‘right way’ people will call you insane (and not in a good way).

How To Do Open-but-Monogamous Relationships

An open relationship is a choice which supplies by proxy, many of the challenges that humans require in order to develop emotional intelligence as well as a solid framework of ethics. But it is by no means the only choice which does this.

3 Blunt Truths from an Open Relationship

Since meeting other partners we’ve come to value the time we have together more. Partly and simply because there is less of it. You have to work hard to keep the original relationship going whilst being swept off your feet by the newness of other relationships.

Huffpo | My Boyfriend’s New Love

I never expected to feel inadequate at this stage, nor to have life shove my inadequacy so brutally in my face in a period when I am confronted savagely by my own mortality through illness.

How To Stop Feeling Jealous

If you feel jealousy, it means that you also feel need and possession. Accept this. The difficulty is eradicating it. The only way you know you have eradicated it is if you stop feeling jealous… which presents a problem.

In your head because need is so strongly associated with love, to stop needing someone also means to stop loving someone. And you don’t want that. You will fight hard to keep ‘needing’ someone because it is what you think love is. But I want you to know that even if you think that your love will be diminished if you take away the need, it won’t be.

“Who do you love? Is it me baby, is it him now?”

I want to be honest about my preferences. If a man with a gun demanded that I pick one dessert to eat for the rest of my life. It would be chocolate. But boy, would I miss my fresh strawberries. They’re amazing and people need fruit (so I’ve been told).