Schrodinger’s Child

I stayed up all night looking after her and at 6am Freddie awoke wanting to play. Morten and I were exhausted. But when I looked at them still I felt, it was all worth it. And smelling of sick, I still burned for them.

How To Manage Deeply Incompatible Metamour Relationships

We all have our sensitivities, allergies and intolerances, some of them too deep to change in the short term – or even the medium term – to anyone’s satisfaction. Whilst having such ‘intolerances’ is not an excuse to avoid self work and owning your shit, it is the reality. Some people are incompatible for you, at this stage of your life, maybe for always. Not because they are evil, nor because you are, but just like certain explosive chemicals, because of how you both react together.

Are Open Relationships for Adrenalin Junkies?

Even thrill seekers need to feel safe, because no one would go on a rollercoaster if they believed it to be inherently unsafe, unless they were suicidal. People don’t mountain bike because they have a death wish, they do it because like me, they have a life wish.

Polyamory doesn’t have to be Queer

In truth gender and sexuality might have little to do with whether you conduct loving relationships in parallel. Let’s be honest, there’s very little about me that’s queer and if I’m to include that in my identity it feels like yet another appropriation of the queer struggle.

Is Polyamory Simply A Transition from Monogamy to Monogamy?

He felt that polyamory wasn’t stable, but could be a ‘fluid way to get change as compared to ending one relationship entirely before searching for a new one.’ His inference was from monogamy to polyamory and back to monogamy, and that’s where we disagree. Fluidity is not about vacillating between two binary states.

How I Justify My Choice of Non-Monogamy

To my mind, biological disposition is therefore a weak premise for legitimizing sexual autonomy. Choice of sexual expression and the form it takes between consenting adults, makes a stronger foundation for establishing the civil rights we so badly need to protect us all against discrimination and unjustifiable action. I claim that polyamory as a relationship choice deserves to be protected. I claim that it is not detrimental to the moral fabric of our society or to our characters, but can on the contrary be highly beneficial.

The First Child Syndrome and Metamour Jealousy

I am not dismissing those fears and feelings as childhood experience. They are very real and not only because we still experience them as adults, but also because they are unhealed.

Interview with Sophia Gubb (

I’ve been following Sophia Gubb’s personal development & activism blog for the last few years reading how her life has transformed as she’s gone from living in a male identity to answering to Sophia… although her blog doesn’t just focus on that by any means! Louisa: Hi Sophia, let’s start with trans 101. When I went to school we all … Read More

The Power of Polyamory Through Wonder Woman

How could there be any benefit in having another loving adult added to the parenting mix? Or in the simple logistics that three parental figures make less work? I’m not about to refute the potential impact of my children’s loss and heartache, if my boyfriend-who-is-not-the-father (WINTF) would ever leave, but people do break up, move away and die all the time and you don’t have to be in a relationship for that to happen.

The First Compersion

And so when she said she wanted to meet me after spending a magical evening with my boyfriend, I screamed with joy and threw my hat in the air. Well at least metaphorically (I am British after all).