It seems incredible now, but I once thought the notion of intentional families was a simple one. Who wouldn’t want a family actively chosen from people whom you love and who love you with their whole heart instead of some of those conflicted fuck-ups we are saddled with by blood and/or marriage?
Posts published in “Polyamory”
I sincerely believe we've achieved what we've achieved because our relationship was already open and has been since its inception. Our relationship was open and sexual. It is still open but non-sexual. Timing in our case, was everything.
For me and after extensive self-work, I feel safe in saying no to those I trust, but saying 'no' to sexually advancing strangers is highly stressful for me. Understanding and being able to accept my reality, this reality has been a gift.
After many such processing sessions and respective conclusions, I've come to a grand, meta conclusion. Whilst I might long for multiple connections, I function better alone. I learned some years ago that a solo style of polyamory would be the smart choice for me; that's a bit of a conundrum when you're already in a household of six which includes two small kids.
I know my desire for change might make me an incredibly hard person to live with for it is like an addiction. But I also know myself and I know what I need. I need change, I need the story, I need life.
If only she knew how much I love you. How much it hurts that you, that we, are not acknowledged. How you are regarded as some disposable piece of detritus. How fickle and worthless she believes my love for you is.
She had no piece of paper, no recognised validity save what she and my partner felt for one another. She was a guest in my home--the home of a woman she hardly knew--but it was also her boyfriend's home and she knew him a lot better. My lack of trust was understandable, acceptable even, but that didn't make it easier for her to handle.
Open comes from old english/anglo-saxon openian meaning to open, open up, disclose, or reveal, but it also meant "exposed, evident, well-known, public," often in a bad sense, "notorious, shameless."
They were once my family, I was not born to them but I chose them. How foolish I have been to think that I am healed, that I am whole. There is always more to work on. More wounds to re-open. So as I saw them, I remembered how much I love him, and how much I still miss him.
Successful threesomes might have many components, but I would boldly state that the best way to ensure satisfaction is through good communication. Yet sitting down to discuss boundaries and consent with long term partner(s) with whom you hopefully have an enviable level of honest communication, is the easier part. It is not so easy to communicate with that spontaneous person you meet at the club, who agrees to participate in fun and games with you and your partner(s) for a one-off encounter.