How to Manage Threesomes & More-somes

Successful threesomes might have many components, but I would boldly state that the best way to ensure satisfaction is through good communication. Yet sitting down to discuss boundaries and consent with long term partner(s) with whom you hopefully have an enviable level of honest communication, is the easier part. It is not so easy to communicate with that spontaneous person you meet at the club, who agrees to participate in fun and games with you and your partner(s) for a one-off encounter.

In my End is my Beginning

I think about it. I think about it all until I am exhausted. And when my mind has no reasons, nothing left, all I have is my love, my loss and my grief. My heart breaks and out of the shattered pieces comes still more love for him.

Why Is There No Unicorn Hunting in Sweden?

All this history has left a legacy in the personality of a Swede. They are more likely to believe in consensus decision making. They are more likely to be highly suspicious of so called democratic coalitions which create an imbalance of power where minority voices might be suppressed. Or where majority vote might enforce violent action. They are less likely to adhere to notions of hierarchy.

Schrodinger’s Child

I stayed up all night looking after her and at 6am Freddie awoke wanting to play. Morten and I were exhausted. But when I looked at them still I felt, it was all worth it. And smelling of sick, I still burned for them.

Are Open Relationships on the Rise Just for the Hell of it?

Longevity, geographical mobility and the decline in traditional religious beliefs are reasons commonly given for the perceived upswing in open non-monogamy. Yet these reasons don’t explain anything but why the prevailing dishonest non-monogamous solutions might increase.

Why saying ‘Fuck Yes’ Is Impossible for the Emotionally Blind

Some people will rarely experience that hopping up and down to have sex. Some people will never feel a ‘fuck yes’ about anything. They will make their decisions based on past experience and educated guesses more than a soul-thrilling desire to go for it. They are the emotionally blind.

Help! How do I let my crush know that my marriage is non-monogamous?

Dear Louloria! I live in a very happy marriage, me and my husband are deeply and passionately in love with each other and this is very evident to people who are around us. We both have a big capacity for love, and I have always been polyamorous but haven’t seen this as a life style option until a while ago … Read More

Help! What is Ethical About Polyamory?

Dear Louloria, I consider myself polyamorous. Full on polyamorous. Or at least I did until I was trying to debate with a friend about the ethical component of polyamory. I defined polyamory as consensual, ethical and responsible non-monogamy.  I realised that I’m down with the area of consent and responsibility but for me, consent and responsibility *is* what is ethical about polyamory … Read More

Help! I’m a bi-woman crushing on a het-woman

Dear Louloria, I met a women around my age yesterday evening, and had a great time playing cards, drinking at a bar and conversing with her. This is the first romantic crush on a cis-woman I have had, and would definitely describe us as mutually romantically flirting. She asked if I wanted to be walked home, to hug, for a … Read More

A Pragmatic Approach to Polyamory and Parenthood

Polyamory also allowed me to spread emotional risk. Long time practitioners of polyamory would be appalled by this–they call it the ‘training wheels’ mentality and it objectifies others. They’re right. It does. And I did.

Help! Does Jealousy Mimic Childhood Relationships?

Dear Louloria, Would love your opinions on something I’ve been pondering: in my immediate mono and poly friends I think I’m seeing a link with the amount of jealousy you feel and the amount of jealousy you felt towards siblings as a child. For example, I don’t remember having any such feelings towards my younger sister, quite the opposite. And … Read More