John is from the North of England. He co-admins the UK Polyamory group on Facebook, doesn’t drive a car, and has a degree in Environmental Health. But his journey was kick-started by tragedy.
Posts published in “Open Relationships”
I don't speak for anyone else. But for me, a open relationship is the freedom to choose. My boyfriend chooses to be with me and to have children with me and (not entirely coincidentally!) I do with him.
I work on checking and using privilege for good; but let's also be honest, It is also the product of self-preservation - something which has made man into a consummate survivor. And it's the 'how-to' eradicate it generally outlined, basically involves throwing out the 'training wheels', something which challenges the very instinct which protects us.
In most cases the couple expect that theirs will remain a primary relationship because the purpose of opening of their relationship is to protect it, not to destroy it. Here's a newsflash. Whether you open your relationship or not, your relationship may fail.
In fact, a failing relationship has little to do with whether you include others, but whether your relationship is a healthy and stable one; remembering that what may be stable at one point, may become unstable at another because (here's another newsflash) there is no permanency in this life.
Dear Louloria, If you’d asked me 6 months ago, I would have said that I love 2 men. But now …after months of drama, mistrust,…
For three years I've taken the easy option. I've had a vicariously open relationship without doing any of the work. But despite a few drunken kisses at parties, I haven't gone out on a date since our last polyamorous relationship ended (not entirely coincidentally, three years ago).
Deep, deep down, I still fear abandonment which will reinforce the lie that rings like truth in my ears that I am inherently, and personally, shameful and unlovable.
As we watched and took lessons from the hell that is the monogamous struggle for the perfect relationship, the one and only, I threw up. It wasn't just the hangover... The reminder of the fear, anxiety, and utter shame I had felt for years from living and trying to live up to a monogamous paradigm was brought up quite literally in the form of the pizza I had eaten at 2am the night before.
And let's say your fundamental needs are already met by your current relationship interactions - including monogamous arrangements - then there is no need to be open in practice as long as you have been truly open in your evaluation. An open relationship means the permission to know and accept oneself ...and be accepted by your partners.
In the online poly world there are a few figures that come to the fore. Most of those – unsurprisingly – have websites. Others have…
When I was at my all-girls school my biology teacher blew a condom up like a balloon and brandished it in front of our faces.…