Some people assume that if I have no hesitation in broadcasting intimate details of my so-called private life, my behaviour will support that assumed intimacy through further action. So if I talk openly about sex, some men assume I am ‘up for it.’
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When you stick your head above the parapet during a revolution, you do so knowing that shots are coming your way. Writing about personal experience of non-monogamy is one way to put yourself in the firing line. Being interviewed about your non-monogamous relationship by England’s biggest tabloid, The Sun, is a better way.
But people see what they expect to see. And that included the photographer. So they positioned my boyfriend with his back to us. Then they made him change into nondescript unflattering shirt, standing apart from us. The couple, and the boyfriend. An appendage.
There are a select few photos on my boyfriend’s hard drive that are, shall we say, unashamedly for his eyes only. But apart from heavily vetted and otherwise ‘instagrammed’ photos on facebook, I’ve always been wary about being photographed.
In the aftermath of one of my own battles, I sat and reflected on whether I still believed in making my private opinions… public through blogging. And why I was doing it. Was it purely attention seeking?
The other day I was accused of being sexist because I ‘tweeted’ out against female genital mutilation. The pushback was that I should have apparently been non-gender specific because male genital mutilation in the form of circumcision happens to. My boyfriend said ‘Isn’t that like saying “How dare you sponsor a child in Africa? What about all the children in …