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Posts published in “Mental Health”

The Fall into An Abusive Relationship

The guilt of who I am, what I have done and now what I continue to do is so shameful that I cannot face the pain. It is better to display no remorse. There is no point in holding an image together that is shattered and worthless.

Love When Cancer Calls

Beautiful, beautiful life. Never so precious as when you realise how easily it can slip away.

Quelling Anxiety with the Oblivion of Alcohol

I rarely travelled further then a 2 kilometre radius and more often than not, I brought the party back home (10 people partying in a 13 squared metres apartment, that's no mean feat).

Why? Because I knew that the closer I was to my bed, the easier it would be to pass out safely.

A Robust Belief System

In my life I have built a structure for my belief system which helps me understand the madness and chaos of this world. It's not unique, but it is tailored to me as all of our must be. It is only one of my belief structures, but I would say the default one and hinges on if...then... statements (and not only because I'm a fan of excel).

An Anxious Parent

I've created routines, bought activity books, depended a little too much sometimes on Peppa Pig. I've forced myself to go out, to face the demon.

High Functioning Alcoholic

But here it is from the horse’s mouth. Being an alcoholic is frequently exhilarating. Sometimes dangerous. And always an adventure. Sure, it is also a nightmare. You are spurned and adored in equal measure. People know that you can be counted on to create party, drama and a spectacle (albeit sometimes at the expense of yourself), whilst also providing the fodder for endless gossip. It can kill relationships and in the worst cases, damage innocent bystanders. Thus in no way do I advocate it. But my journey through alcoholism allowed me to uncover who I really was. And that has ironically saved my life.