Addiction might be called a curse, but that’s only one way to look at it. Alcohol addiction used to be a way of tapping into a power I didn’t have, a release of pain I had trapped inside me.
The hard part is when those people who’ve been your loyal supporters, even friends over many years come across a showstopper in your thinking. Something which they decide personally offends them. Many of my articles are controversial and have been notable both in a number of new followers and in those who abruptly stopped following.
Because luck is being in the right place, at the right time, which means that you have to be present in all the places, at all the times as far as you are able.
We’re back in a familiar land. In the company of my old friend anxiety. Ah those demons. You think you’ve beaten them. But they’re crafty. Ready to seize on the slightest insecurity.
So if there is anything I can say about wisdom at all, it is that wisdom involves having a truly open mind to recognize that we are wrong at every turn (and that this is a good thing). That our past experience might mean more knowledge, but if anything this detracts from remembering that we know very little.
They say if you can’t imagine going to a party on a Friday night without alcohol to socially lubricate your interactions then you have a dependency on alcohol. But if I am to give myself any label at all nowadays, I would say I am a mild alcoholic. But ‘mild alcoholism’ is still alcoholism.
We are all vulnerable with our own individual life circumstances. And with the increased accessibility of information we are also more likely to seek out the quick fix solution because quite simply it is in our nature.
It’s not like I haven’t embraced uncertainty in so many areas of my life. But this experience shows me that no matter how much I think I’ve cracked one particular nut, the learning is never over.
Strangers who met as if on a brief encounter.
Anne is enduringly popular not only because these books recount the beautifully scripted highs and lows of a life well lived, they also present a definitive guide to life contained in the voice of just one fictional character (and very occasionally her friends).
But this test, the colonoscopy, was the last in line and the most feared. It followed 24 hours of fasting and laxative enhanced groaning on the toilet. A camera inserted into my rectum without the mercy of general anaesthetic oblivion.
Personal development is not a means to an end for me. It is the end. I intend to live life experimentally until I die. Pushing the boundaries and expanding my awareness. Constant growth and change seems right now to be the way for me to reach my highest potential and my ultimate happiness.