Hot or Not? A Case Study of Sexual Objectification in Online Dating

Louisa Leontiades Diaries, Epic Relationships, Polyamory, Unfenced Relationships

There are acts and there are consequences. When you’re a woman with a constant barrage of messages, most of which focus on your appearance, you can become dismissive and even sick of having to reply to them. It creates a greater propensity to dismiss those who have reached out. To treat them like objects. Sarah made her selection on whether she found the image attractive. She objectified the men who had objectified her.

Interview With Franklin Veaux (www.morethantwo.com 2014)

Louisa Leontiades Activist Interviews, Epic Relationships, Polyamory, Unfenced Relationships

Today Franklin Veaux is a leader and advocate in the polyamorous community; but over ten years ago Franklin Veaux was not a man whose word was respected.

He was not the man whose articles about agency and consent have been shared thousands of times across the internet. And if his site was popular, it was only because it caused such controversy and such upset in the polyamorous community that it was – like others issue like abortion – highly divisive.

Polyamory is Pain

Louisa Leontiades Activist Polyamory, Epic Relationships, Polyamory, Unfenced Relationships

Whilst much of my writing colours polyamory in a rose tinted light, I am not ignorant of the enormous pain that it might and does bring to many. Those who say my credibility is damaged and that I am stupid because I ignore the obvious pain signals which should prevent me practising polyamory, are only proving their own ignorance about the necessity and role of pain in our lives.

Hot or Not? A Further Case Study of Sexual Objectification in Online Dating

Louisa Leontiades Diaries, Epic Relationships, Polyamory, Unfenced Relationships

Sexual objectification is part and parcel of what we do, how we evaluate our potential partners and how we as a society procreate. But there are acts and there are consequences. Sexual objectification is fine as long as it is a small part of a greater appreciation, but it will constrain the longevity of your sexual relationship if this is the only basis of sexual attraction.

How To Stop Feeling Jealous

Louisa Leontiades Epic Relationships, How Tos..., Polyamory, The Jealousy Journey, Unfenced Relationships

If you feel jealousy, it means that you also feel need and possession. Accept this. The difficulty is eradicating it. The only way you know you have eradicated it is if you stop feeling jealous… which presents a problem.

In your head because need is so strongly associated with love, to stop needing someone also means to stop loving someone. And you don’t want that. You will fight hard to keep ‘needing’ someone because it is what you think love is. But I want you to know that even if you think that your love will be diminished if you take away the need, it won’t be.