These relationships do not live in the past, because for the women at least, there is no past. There is only today. And in my grown life I have sought to emulate that characteristic of those relationships. Why?
Some people will rarely experience that hopping up and down to have sex. Some people will never feel a ‘fuck yes’ about anything. They will make their decisions based on past experience and educated guesses more than a soul-thrilling desire to go for it. They are the emotionally blind.
Dear Louloria, I am experiencing a pattern in my relationships that I would like some insight into please. When my relationships come to an end, my exes choose a very similar woman to me as their next partner. They are similar to me in looks, tastes and personality. They also do it just a few weeks after our breakup. It’s painful to be …
But I had broken something, something which seemed tiny and unimportant but which turned out to be the foundation of our relationship. I had broken an unspoken and sacred pact with myself. The promise to keep myself safe. And the castles we had built together started to crumble.
And so when I recommended to a client last week that they might try ‘non-violent communication’ as a better way to communicate with their partner, I was pooh-poohed. They told me that they weren’t ‘down with hippy heaven.’ It was unlikely that I could have persuaded him to buy a book on the subject (hence this cheat sheet).
Emotional maturity then is inextricably bound up with self-esteem. Those who have low self-esteem cannot operate at a high level of emotional maturity (even if they pretend otherwise).
He didn’t want to do the housework, but he agreed to do it because if he didn’t, it would cause a fight. Then he ‘forgot’ to do it, because he knew that eventually I would stop nagging him to do it and he would get out of it.
A man’s integrity exists when he is aligned with his purpose and when he lives his deepest truth. It means firstly that they have to know or at least be working towards their purpose which is in itself is a challenge (no one said it was easy).
Because beyond this conditioning is a deeper truth. In all long term relationships sooner or later, you will stop idealizing your partner and will see his faults.
Because the part of life that contradicts the lie, goes into that lovely place called denial and resides in your subconscious. It means you don’t have to be responsible for your life. And your subconscious mind will perpetuate the lie. It will go to greater and greater lengths to support the position you have created for yourself and cover up the truth. Lies fragment your subconscious and shatter your integrity.