The Hovel

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

What is here? Neglect is here. Overgrown plants are here. This hovel has never been occupied, never lived in, loved or cared for. It is dirty and lonely. It is private. It is the core of all things.

Forget-Me-Nots

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

So quite simply, one of the answers to the question ‘Why do we love?’ is ‘Because we are loved.’ It’s far easier to love someone back if they love and admire us. We shimmer in love, we bloom and we grow. A child deprived of love, strikes horror in our hearts and whips our apathy into uproar.

How To Love After Maternal Narcissism

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

One of the biggest dangers of growing up with a narcissistic mother, is that you will believe that the relationship you have with her is a loving and rewarding one. And even if you don’t it’s the original relationship which created your idea of what a relationship should look like. Which means that one day soon, you’ll be going out with a narcissist yourself.

Not Giving a Shit is a Good Thing (Part 3)

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

The most useful tool I’ve discovered on our life journey is compassionate honesty. It heals so many wounds. This month has given me the chance to compassionately and honestly re-examine the relationship between my adopted Mother and I, to see whether the wound has healed between us. But my mother continues to want to play the game of ‘who-is-right-and-wrong’, and …

Letter to My Estranged Mother (Part 2)

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

We have each claimed our respective subjective realities to be ‘the’ one and only truth over the years, but as it turns out there is no one and only truth. We can’t change our realities, only accept that my experience is true for me as your experience is true for you. I am not trying to make you wrong. But nor will I undermine my own reality to make you right.

God Moves in Mysterious Ways

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

But here was another curious thing. My parents were together in the same room. Yet they were divorced. My father was around a lot more often in my dream, it seemed. And they were going to the supermarket together. What was that all about?

The Maternal Narcissist

In Complicated Roots, Maternal Narcissism by Louisa Leontiades

If I were to tell people my schooling was paid by three scholarships they might smile politely. If I were to tell them I studied piano for 12 years and was accomplished enough to perform in public, they might be impressed. If I were to tell them that I won every form prize in my junior school, won countless competitions for speech and drama, poetry reading, …