Help! My Metamour Doesn’t Communicate Her Concerns

Dear Louloria, My girlfriend has started dating another girl who is sweet and funny but was previously monogamous. I have no issue with her, but she is not used to communicating about her emotions and now in a worrying pattern on several occasions, she has avoided difficult conversations when it’s obvious to us both, that she’s in pain. She likes to believe she’s open minded …

Help! I’m polyamorous but can only have sex with one

Dear Louloria, I’ve identified as polyamorous for many years, and do indeed love many. But even if I love many – you know, the soul thrilling, intimate, vulnerable kind – I have recognised that sexually, I (eventually) prefer exclusivity. I’ve noticed that my multiple relationships are often a transition from one sexually exclusive one to another (with an overlap of up …

Help! Will This Relationship Last?

Dear Louloria, My wife and I have been seeing another couple we quite like. We’re all very aware of poly; we met through a poly discussion group. By discussion and agreement it hasn’t become sexual (yet), but it’s mighty snuggly, including naked-in-and-after-the-hot-tub snuggly. We’ve been seeing each other for Saturday hikes and dinners, etc., for a couple of years. The …

Help! My British Partner Can’t Say No

Dear Louloria, I’m an American dating a Brit and I don’t understand why she can’t come right out and tell me what she wants. One of the most important things in polyamory is the ability to state boundaries but she thinks she’ll offend me and often comes up with excuses around why she wants some alone time. I think the UK should …

Help! How do I introduce someone new to Polyamory?

Dear Louloria, I’ve met someone who hasn’t heard of poly before. What’s a good way to introduce them? What red flags are there that they’re not accepting it really, but just going along? Thanks – Mr. NotWantingToForceRoundPegs Dear Mr. NWTFRP, Assuming your ‘someone’ has heard – however vaguely – of open relationships before, I’m going to give you some unconventional advice. …

Help! Why do the guys I date disappear?

Dear Louloria, The question that has been burning for me for a while, is why guys “disappear”? Like things seem awesome, then they literally won’t respond to texts, emails and just go “b-bye”. It’s happened to me several times since I started dating. It pisses me off and can hurt too. I have my own ideas about why this happens. …

Help! Her Partner Isn’t Poly-Friendly

Dear Louloria, I think I’m running into a situation where I think I need to break up a relationship, because the living situation of my love and her partner isn’t poly-friendly. I’m minimized when he’s around, not allowed into their home, and having to hide the relationship when she and I are in her neighbourhood. I’ve tried to deal with this for …

Help! I Think I’m Polyamorous… Or is My Marriage Just Over?

Dear Louloria, If you’d asked me 6 months ago, I would have said that I love 2 men. But now …after months of drama, mistrust, less time with my husband and having the best connection ever with my new lover, I am just not sure of my feelings any more. Then this weekend I reconnected with my husband and we …