Help! Do I Lie to My Teenage Son About Being Open?

Dear Louloria, After having been in an “open” relationship with my wife for the past 4.5 years but never had another relationship per se, I have now had a girlfriend for the past 4 months. Originally the two were kept quite separate, mostly due to my wife not necessarily needing to see her, but now she comes over regularly, stays …

Help! Two Partners And No Sex?

Dear Louloria I married my husband twenty years ago. But the sex in our relationship was always problematic, and although we had kids, my husband discovered that he was asexual, but since everything else was OK between us, we thought it would be a shame to divorce for such a (for him) meaningless reason. We eventually settled on this arrangement whereby I spend a couple …

Help! What Should I Look for in a New Partner?

Dear Louloria, I’m married, but after opening our marriage it seems that we no longer have that much of a connection or at least only very slight. We have kids, so I’ve tried really hard to keep the family in close contact. We’ve transitioned the relationship so that we have a sort of ‘tertiary’ connection and separated quite a lot …

Help! How To Protect My Kid from bullying due to polyamory?

Dear Louloria, So far I’ve been pretty lucky – able to mostly insulate my son from changes with partners (I learned that lesson when he was mostly too young to remember, at least). And we’re 90% out, so I’m not worried about him outing us. (By 90% out I mean that friends know and neither my husband nor any of …

Help! Is my Daughter Polyamorous or Mentally Ill?

Dear Louloria, My 27 year old daughter has recently come out as polyamorous. I’m a fairly open minded Mum but I’ve been her sole parent since she was eight, when I left her emotionally (occasionally physically) abusive and narcissistic father. I’m totally invested in her well being and supporting her choices, so to find out more about this lifestyle I read the books …

Help! When should I introduce my partner to my kids?

Dear Louloria, I’ve recently started dating again now that maternity has finished and my daughter has started pre-school. I’ve met someone who I think could be a potential partner. I agreed with my husband a while ago, that we wouldn’t introduce someone to our child unless it was serious, but now I’m thinking I can’t get serious with a partner until …

Help! Should Our Power Exchange Couple Date As A Couple?

Dear Louloria, My husband is very poly and has no jealousy issues. I am situationally poly, in that it is not an absolute necessity to me. My questions arises in that we are a power exchange couple. My husband has another woman in his life that is his submissive. They are not sexually involved. I started out in a friendship …

Help! My Poly-Xmas Was Emotionally Exhausting

Dear Louloria, I’m very happy with my life – normally. But this Christmas and NY, which is our first proper holidays where everyone is acknowledged by all our families, has been emotionally and physically draining for me. Various families have met for the first time and we’ve held three separate celebrations as well as one all together, in order to support …

Help! Is it Wrong to Use Polyamory Just to Get Sex?

Dear Louloria They say that polyamory isn’t ‘just about the sex’, and ‘people aren’t just ‘needs fulfilment machines’, but the truth is that I have a very high sex drive and my husband doesn’t. I need more sex and sex is better for me when I know and at least like a person. But sex with loving is even better! So basically, …

Help! Am I abusive?

Dear Louloria, I read your response to Mr RealistNotOptimist with interest and foreboding. I am in an open relationship with my partner. I suffer hugely from anxiety, and although I try to take full responsibility for it, I fear that my initial – uncontrollable – reactions of fear and anxiety impact my partner’s decisions on how or even whether to …

Help! Her Crippling Anxiety Prevents Me From Exploring Polyamory

Dear Louloria, My wife and I married young and lived a monogamous lifestyle for 15 years. Over the last few years we’ve had several polyamorous experiences, initially due to her interest in it. But in this process we’ve discovered that she harbors crippling – and I mean crippling – jealousy and anxiety that for all practical purposes prevents me from …

Help! Why Are Polyamorous People So Ugly?

Dear Louloria, I got into polyamory via a glamorous life of swinging, but my wife and I found that unconnected sex didn’t do it for us and we started to fall for another couple. Sadly they felt that polyamory threatened their relationship so we started exploring poly groups for more like-minded people. But on the whole the people who attended poly …