Help! Do I Lie to My Teenage Son About Being Open?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, After having been in an “open” relationship with my wife for the past 4.5 years but never had another relationship per se, I have now had a girlfriend for the past 4 months. Originally the two were kept quite separate, mostly due to my wife not necessarily needing to see her, but now she comes over regularly, stays …

Help! Two Partners And No Sex?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria I married my husband twenty years ago. But the sex in our relationship was always problematic, and although we had kids, my husband discovered that he was asexual, but since everything else was OK between us, we thought it would be a shame to divorce for such a (for him) meaningless reason. We eventually settled on this arrangement whereby I spend a couple …

Help! How Can I Help My Abusive Partner?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, I’ve lived with a man for several years, and about a year ago we decided to “go poly”. It was the first time I realized that I didn’t have to put all my energy and effort into one other person, that I was allowed to care for myself and my own needs. Sadly enough, taking responsibility for myself …

Help! What Should I Look for in a New Partner?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, I’m married, but after opening our marriage it seems that we no longer have that much of a connection or at least only very slight. We have kids, so I’ve tried really hard to keep the family in close contact. We’ve transitioned the relationship so that we have a sort of ‘tertiary’ connection and separated quite a lot …

Help! Is my Daughter Polyamorous or Mentally Ill?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, My 27 year old daughter has recently come out as polyamorous. I’m a fairly open minded Mum but I’ve been her sole parent since she was eight, when I left her emotionally (occasionally physically) abusive and narcissistic father. I’m totally invested in her well being and supporting her choices, so to find out more about this lifestyle I read the books …

Help! When should I introduce my partner to my kids?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, I’ve recently started dating again now that maternity has finished and my daughter has started pre-school. I’ve met someone who I think could be a potential partner. I agreed with my husband a while ago, that we wouldn’t introduce someone to our child unless it was serious, but now I’m thinking I can’t get serious with a partner until …

Help! My Poly-Xmas Was Emotionally Exhausting

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, I’m very happy with my life – normally. But this Christmas and NY, which is our first proper holidays where everyone is acknowledged by all our families, has been emotionally and physically draining for me. Various families have met for the first time and we’ve held three separate celebrations as well as one all together, in order to support …

Help! Is it Wrong to Use Polyamory Just to Get Sex?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria They say that polyamory isn’t ‘just about the sex’, and ‘people aren’t just ‘needs fulfilment machines’, but the truth is that I have a very high sex drive and my husband doesn’t. I need more sex and sex is better for me when I know and at least like a person. But sex with loving is even better! So basically, …

Help! Am I abusive?

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, I read your response to Mr RealistNotOptimist with interest and foreboding. I am in an open relationship with my partner. I suffer hugely from anxiety, and although I try to take full responsibility for it, I fear that my initial – uncontrollable – reactions of fear and anxiety impact my partner’s decisions on how or even whether to …

Help! Her Crippling Anxiety Prevents Me From Exploring Polyamory

Louisa Leontiades Ask Louloria, Open Relationships

Dear Louloria, My wife and I married young and lived a monogamous lifestyle for 15 years. Over the last few years we’ve had several polyamorous experiences, initially due to her interest in it. But in this process we’ve discovered that she harbors crippling – and I mean crippling – jealousy and anxiety that for all practical purposes prevents me from …