Through this work, an advance reader copy of Turn This World Inside Out, The Emergence of Nurturance Culture by Nora Samaran found its way into my hands. And although at 140 pages it’s only little, its impact on me has been disproportionately large. It has helped me find compassion; it has helped me connect fragments of ideas which existed in my brain already, but floated untethered in abstract (where they were of no use at all).
I believe we are working towards the same goal, which is to make sure our community is safe and one where abuse cannot flourish. With that in mind, I thank you for your unpaid labour and your acknowledgement of some of the harm Franklin Veaux has done over the course of decades.
During this process, I realised how susceptible we all are to being abusive. Abuse is so prevalent, and so normalized, and often so much a function of our gut reactions that it is easy to do, without being even aware of it. Worse still, it’s even easy to abuse when you are trying to help someone.
Clearly I am subjective, but then every single individual is. My research is mainly qualitative, and it supports conclusions derived from interpretation and context. How then, might it be considered credible? Here are some points to debate.
I didn’t want to believe her. What I wanted to believe was that the harm Franklin caused was not intentional or conscious. That it was a one-off. That Franklin was a nice guy who had made a few wrong steps. I hoped against hope that it wasn’t as bad as it sounded.
We talk a lot about sexual objectification but rarely look at the bigger picture. An object exists to serve a purpose and in many instances we are objectified in order to serve society. If I could not be the obedient girl, if I could not pay my own way, if I was not a good mother… if I wasn’t another brick in the wall, then I was redundant, useless to the world.
My media psychology professor is an awkwardly charming, middle-aged white man with thick rimmed glasses who ocassionally disrupts our facebook browsing during his class by pointedly saying ‘I can’t tell you what’s in the exam but this is Very Important. But I was already paying attention, not just because I’m a mature student with too much coffee in her blood, but …
With time restrictions therefore, my options are few; but I’m determined to make it work. After all between an apocalyptic future exploding in glorious glitter, and any other future where presents look like World War Two rations, I’ll go for the latter.
This boy is kind. But being kind doesn’t disguise the fact that he has no knowledge of boundaries. He knocks at all hours of the day. If the back door is on the latch, he’ll come in uninvited and sit on Maya’s bed to await her return until I show him the door. He once tried to force his way in her room to wake her up and play.
For a woman like me–a die-hard fan of The Rocky Horror Show who lustfully watched Sweet Transvestite on loop –the news that Chanel launched it’s first make-up for men on September 1 2018 in South Korea, was wildly exciting.
Mutilation is not a word commonly associated with love. But given that the choice in many African communities is to be cut or choose a future where your child is ostracised, unlovable and ‘unmarriable’—the question must be about how love manifests for children, when it comes to ensuring their survival.
We didn’t try. We just didn’t not try and according to my calculations, we never had sex at the right time. So I thought that given the minuscule probability if it happened it would be a miracle. God is a bit of a shit stirrer though. A third child, with a different father.