When you stick your head above the parapet during a revolution, you do so knowing that shots are coming your way. Writing about personal experience of non-monogamy is one way to put yourself in the firing line. Being interviewed about your non-monogamous relationship by England’s biggest tabloid, The Sun, is a better way.
It wasn’t totally unexpected, but still I was surprised by the pure volume of hate which poured through the ether in the comments section on Facebook.
- Louisa is a slag, her long time partner is a mug, her boyfriend is loving it and the kids are going to be screwed up as a result of her selfishness. Wonderful.
- Dirty slag….
- Poor kids! So selfish!!
- What an embarrassment to the Greek nation who – in general – hold very high moral standards. She had to move to Sweden where everything goes to fullfil her fantasies and good riddance. She would be lynched if she lived in a small Greek community. She is not exactly a siren, more of a witch who managed to snare two idiots. No one man in his right mind would put up with that ugly horsey face, let alone two. Will all end in tears.
Or my favourite…
- What happen she get an STI she a total idoit
I used not to be able to look at the comments on my articles. A republication of the article My Vagina Smells Like Shame on Jezebel, has over 700 comments, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. I haven’t read through a quarter of them, because back then my gut curled and my hands started shaking at the rejection of my philosophy and myself. But this time, that I was able to read through the comments on The Sun – and even laugh at my supposedly equine features – is a true testament to how my self-esteem has improved and how I am able to accept, even support others’ right to an opinion without giving them the power to hurt me.
Yet I also feel the winds of change blowing around me. I would have assumed that The Sun readers would be my biggest challenge yet in terms of confronting a mass market audience. But around half of them had better comments than I haf hoped for and that’s a huge achievement. It’s our achievement.
- Fairplay to them as long as they are happy the kids looked after. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else.
- if two people love her and she loves 2, then i can see what it works for them all because no1 is getting hurt by been dumped.
- Sounds like the one to me… more income more assistance around the house…don’t see a problem with it at all…I’d prefer another woman myself (generally more helpful with chores, cleaning, cooking, child minding)….but each to their own
- Who are we to judge?? If they are all happy then that’s what’s important don’t u think? Xx
- I used to live with my boyfriend then my ex moved in and we were all happy.
I particularly liked the last one. Because polyamory is not just about the sex (despite The Sun quoting me out of context with the sub caption ‘There’s a fair amount of sex’). It’s about the freedom to configure your family in a way that makes everyone happy. It’s about consent, communication and relationship building. Thus despite the fact that by popular opinion I’m a slag, I see the tide is turning. Freedom is ours for the taking and just because of that, I feel privileged to take those shots.