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A Slag By Popular Opinion3 min read

When you stick your head above the parapet during a revolution, you do so knowing that shots are coming your way. Writing about personal experience of non-monogamy is one way to put yourself in the firing line. Being interviewed about your non-monogamous relationship by England’s biggest tabloid, The Sun, is a better way.

It wasn’t totally unexpected, but still I was surprised by the pure volume of hate which poured through the ether in the comments section on Facebook.

  • Louisa is a slag, her long time partner is a mug, her boyfriend is loving it and the kids are going to be screwed up as a result of her selfishness. Wonderful.
  • Dirty slag….
  • Poor kids! So selfish!!
  • Skank
  • Slag
  • What an embarrassment to the Greek nation who – in general – hold very high moral standards. She had to move to Sweden where everything goes to fullfil her fantasies and good riddance. She would be lynched if she lived in a small Greek community. She is not exactly a siren, more of a witch who managed to snare two idiots. No one man in his right mind would put up with that ugly horsey face, let alone two. Will all end in tears.
A horse.
A horse.

Or my favourite…

  • What happen she get an STI she a total idoit

I used not to be able to look at the comments on my articles. A republication of the article My Vagina Smells Like Shame on Jezebel, has over 700 comments, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. I haven’t read through a quarter of them, because back then my gut curled and my hands started shaking at the rejection of my philosophy and myself. But this time, that I was able to read through the comments on The Sun – and even laugh at my supposedly equine features – is a true testament to how my self-esteem has improved and how I am able to accept, even support others’ right to an opinion without giving them the power to hurt me.

Yet I also feel the winds of change blowing around me. I would have assumed that The Sun readers would be my biggest challenge yet in terms of confronting a mass market audience. But around half of them had better comments than I haf hoped for and that’s a huge achievement. It’s our achievement.

  • Fairplay to them as long as they are happy the kids looked after. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else.
  • if two people love her and she loves 2, then i can see what it works for them all because no1 is getting hurt by been dumped.
  • Sounds like the one to me… more income more assistance around the house…don’t see a problem with it at all…I’d prefer another woman myself (generally more helpful with chores, cleaning, cooking, child minding)….but each to their own
  • Who are we to judge?? If they are all happy then that’s what’s important don’t u think? Xx
  • I used to live with my boyfriend then my ex moved in and we were all happy.

I particularly liked the last one. Because polyamory is not just about the sex (despite The Sun quoting me out of context with the sub caption ‘There’s a fair amount of sex’). It’s about the freedom to configure your family in a way that makes everyone happy. It’s about consent, communication and relationship building. Thus despite the fact that by popular opinion I’m a slag, I see the tide is turning. Freedom is ours for the taking and just because of that, I feel privileged to take those shots.

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