Help! What is Ethical About Polyamory?

In this context, ethical is the umbrella term whilst consent and responsibility fall under this. By general consensus, ripe timing and my own personal opinion, it seems that the More Than Two definition may rapidly be becoming the definition of ‘polyamory’ itself and if that is the case, then it is these underlying beliefs which distinguish ethical (to be redundant) polyamory from other forms of non-monogamy, consensual or otherwise.

Help! Two Partners And No Sex?

Sex itself is not a need. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t important, just that we can choose to define it differently and this may be more helpful in figuring out what to do. It’s important that you reconsider your perception of sex as a need, because–in a hopefully hypothetical and extreme case–if you consider it a need you will have to add more and more people to your relationship if they stop having sex with you (for whatever reason!) and you risk treating them as objects to fulfil this ‘need’. Such a paradigm is unsustainable.

Help! How Can I Help My Abusive Partner?

The only way for him and his self esteem to improve is for him to take responsibility for his actions and emotions. But that must be his choice. Can you reach him?

Only by continuing to assume your own agency and by taking responsibility for your agency–and only yours.

If he cannot get what he wants from you, if he cannot force you take responsibility for his actions and/or emotions, he has very few options available to him.

Help! Is my Daughter Polyamorous or Mentally Ill?

She’s 27 years old, it’s time to let go. If she does have mental health issues as many might over the course of a lifetime, you are only stigmatizing her by under-estimating her capabilities and agency to sort it out herself. And if she does face challenges she doesn’t need you to sort it out, she needs a therapist (and that should be her decision). Be her support, but support her in being an adult.

Help! When should I introduce my partner to my kids?

Why should you consider not being romantic with your boyfriend in front of your child?

Romantic behaviour infers intimacy. For me, it’s not about whether intimacy is a harmful thing (or a ‘bad’ example – we’re not talking sexual behaviour, just ‘closeness’). It’s about the signals that you send your child regarding your new partner. Your intimacy with them is a demonstration of trust. Your child is attached to you, and implicitly trusts your judgement.