After months of reflection, I also have grave doubts about appropriating the term relationship anarchy even though the principles outlined in the short manifesto by Andie Nordgren suit my relationship style.
Some people will rarely experience that hopping up and down to have sex. Some people will never feel a ‘fuck yes’ about anything. They will make their decisions based on past experience and educated guesses more than a soul-thrilling desire to go for it. They are the emotionally blind. And there’s more of us than you might think.
I’m happy for you experiencing intense crushes, there really is nothing like them! But from a biological standpoint it’s a whole bunch of hormones rushing round your body… namely adrenalin and phenylethylamine which is putting you in a state which diverts your bodily functions away from those minor inconveniences like eating and sleeping. Basically, you’re high.
In this context, ethical is the umbrella term whilst consent and responsibility fall under this. By general consensus, ripe timing and my own personal opinion, it seems that the More Than Two definition may rapidly be becoming the definition of ‘polyamory’ itself and if that is the case, then it is these underlying beliefs which distinguish ethical (to be redundant) polyamory from other forms of non-monogamy, consensual or otherwise.
The amount of jealousy we feel corresponds to the style of attachment we have; scientists agree that adult attachment is likely to mimic childhood attachment, even if they currently disagree about the overlap and extent.
Today’s comic books are no longer the quiet solace and expression of an alternative community. The mainstreaming of high fantasy and Marvel’s recent success in bringing their comic universe to the cinema gives mainstream credibility to those seeking to make their minority voices heard through pictorial form.
We all have a tendency to mimic familiar relationships because they feel in some way comforting. It’s a basic reptilian survival mechanism, our fears are of the unknown, not the known–even if the known is not the best thing for us. But I’m not talking about your exes, I’m talking about you.
Most likely he is already worrying that you will break apart. You are who you are and you have made the choices you have made. If you do not tell him, if you act as if it is something to be ashamed of then it is more likely he will think it is shameful.